His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
