my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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