Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
