Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Randomize