fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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