My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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