took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
