Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
