Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
