I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm passing your future prison.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
pray to the hookup gods
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
