life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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