me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
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he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
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I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?