just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.