why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober