Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.