she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize