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oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
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