I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
