Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
