I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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