To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
