do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Houston, we have a blender
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
