Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
