question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
