Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
