I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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