In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I FOUND THE LEGS
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize