I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize