the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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