Having a random hookup so left but love u
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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