I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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