You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We have started to decorate penises.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
