he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
