yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
