im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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