he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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