He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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