Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
