let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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