Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
