is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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