"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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