standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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