Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
