You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
