She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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