Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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