From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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