Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
