Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
