Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
