Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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