Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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