I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
