my sisters under your porch take her home
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
