The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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