I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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