The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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