I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
