Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
