Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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