When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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