i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
