Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
