it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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