I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
