apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
