I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
