there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
