is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Randomize
