Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
