i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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